Weekend’s Little Humor 10 Programming Jokes of the week
By Muhammad Umair
It’s true: laughter is strong medicine. It draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. Nothing works faster or more dependably to bring your mind and body back into balance than a good laugh. Humor lightens your burdens, inspires hope, connects you to others, and keeps you grounded, focused, and alert. It also helps you release anger and forgive sooner. With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
Joke 1
How do you know God is a shitty programmer?
He wrote the OS for an entire universe, but didn’t leave a single useful comment.
Joke 2
Why did the web developer walk out of a resturant in disgust?
The seating was laid out in tables.
Joke 3
Why did the database administrator leave his wife?
She had one-to-many relationships.
Joke 4
Programming is like sex.
Make one mistake and you end up supporting it for the rest of your life.
Joke 5
Judge: “I sentence you to the maximum punishment…” Me (thinking): “Please be death, please be death…” Judge: “Learn Java!” Me: “Damn.”
Joke 6
The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Joke 7
Why did the programmer jump on the table?
Because debug was on his screen.
Joke 8
How did the programmer die in the shower?
He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Joke 9
Why are Assembly programmers always soaking wet?
They work below C-level.
Joke 10
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Parsing HTML with regex.
That’s all folks! We will meet again next week!
